Today is officially my 23rd Birthday! Granted, it is only 1 AM but that still counts! I am excited and happy and ready to enjoy my day. I've realized as I've gotten older that birthdays have become bittersweet. Many of the people I love, who I would want to celebrate with, are far away from me now. But I suppose this is just the reality of growing up. So, I am going to enjoy this post-grad birthday change! Celebrating a twenty-something birthday is a challenge but a fun one. I have made plans with my friends in town and I know it'll be great! (Birthday pictures coming soon)

This is a subject that has been on my mind off and on for quite some time. As I listened to Kanye West's "808 and Heartbreak" singles and Beyonce's "Resentment" last night I thought to myself, how do you deal with heartbreak? How do you learn to trust again? Is it really possible to truly forget?

There are times when I think that is impossible. The moment you think you've forgotten, the smallest thing triggers a memory and all of the feelings come rushing back. The Anger. Confusion. Sadness. Stress. The tightened feeling you get in your stomach. You wonder how could they? What were they thinking? Why were they so careless? Why didn't you trust your gut? In the heaviest feelings of anger, why were they so stupid? And after wallowing in those feelings, you wear a smile and refocus. You laugh to keep from crying.

And the brief relapse of feeling is gone. So even after you've made the decision, because it is a decision, to forgive and forget. And after you've forgiven, the rebuilding of trust has begun, can you ever really forget?

I try to take an optimistic route. I believe you can forget, but like all wounds it takes time. And some wounds take longer to heal than others.

What do you think?

The Melodies of Heartbreak and Forgiveness:

I am currently at DePaul in Chicago. I do love Chicago and the good people I have met here, however....I need something different. I have my whole life to live in the big city (and trust me I definitely will city girl through and through) but I really want a more traditional college experience. My number one choice: UNC! Then Syracuse and/or U of Michigan. Wish me luck!!



Looking forward to the weekend and getting some quality R and R....popcorn, Sex and the City, The Game, and some soft comfy (clean) sheets...sounds nice.

Oh and also let me say since I was speaking on this topic last post, Valentines Day was great! Boyfriend went above and beyond what I expected.